Time to be a bit more risqué … ?
I was thinking about orgasms last night and wondering if I should even bother to blog about them, seeing that every female magazine has rabbitted on about them for so long, there can’t be much that hasn’t already been said.
Never mind in mags like Men’s Health – which obviously not many men in our country read. Or maybe they do – but they either don’t comprehend, have memories that make goldfish look smart, or simply choose not to take note.
There must have been 100 maps to the (seemingly) illusive G-spot, countless lists out on exactly how to make even the most frigid woman orgasm, and “how to” sex tips abound in every issue. Yet still there are women out there who have never experienced the ultimate sensation that only a true orgasm is.
Take me for example. For the first three decades of my life I had no idea. Granted, more than half of those were not years that count. But I was nearly thirty before I found out what I had been missing out on.
Imagine finding out that what everyone else was eating was double-thick, extra creamy, luxurious chocolate ice-cream with toasted almonds and caramel – and all this time you were gobbling Bulgarian yoghurt and thinking you were ordering off the same menu?
What I can tell you, is that the chap who served me my first double-scoop had to go into hiding …
The question I have is – if you have never had chocolate ice-cream, how would you know that it didn’t taste like natural yoghurt? I mean it’s not like you can eat someone else’s to find out! You read about “earth-shaking tremors” and “waves of delight” and such like … and I thought that was kind of what I was experiencing. Until the real thing. And I must have been brilliant at faking it too – because no one ever seemed concerned that I wasn’t having as much fun as I should be.
Oh well – at least I know now. And at least I found out while there was still plenty of time to indulge in nature’s biggest kick. I only hope that all the women I love are eating decadent, double-Jersey, Death by Chocolate, caramel crunch, luscious ice-cream. And lots of it – it’s not fattening – it’s good for you!
June 3, 2011 at 4:55 pm |
“I’ll have what she’s having”?